Do Not Be Afraid

It has been claimed that the Biblical imperative, "fear not" or "do not be afraid" comes up 365 times in the Bible. The pastoral advice that grows out of this reality is that we are encouraged every day to be strong, to be brave, to be loving in a world that is often frightening. 

It's not true, however, at least not literally true. (See this helpful article if you don't believe me.) It does come up a lot, however, and that is the larger point to be made. 

The antidote to fear, which leads to dis-couragement, is to be en-couraged to love. This takes us to the heart of the Biblical promise, that to love God and to love neighbor leads to full and abundant life. Fear, on the other hand, leads to death. 

It's helpful to reflect on two Greek words, I think: paranoia and metanoia. Metanoia is usually translated into English as repent - it's also a big Biblical word. It's about a change of mind. Paranoia is when we are out of our minds - when we revert to our reptilian brains and response to danger in a binary way: fight or flight. 

Fear is a part of life. We teach our children and our children's children to be careful in a world that can be quite dangerous. We try also to teach them to face their fears, whether or not we happen to be people of faith shaped by the Biblical narrative. We want to en-courage them; not dis-courage them. 

But I've come to believe that keeping people afraid is a path to gaining and keeping power. This is the way of fascism, rather than liberal democracy. You can sow fear to gain control of people. And I think this is where we are as a nation right now. Perhaps the only thing right now that people on the right and left have in common is that we are afraid, and acting out of that place of fear. We are, surely, afraid of different things. But in our fear we become reactive and polarizing and binary. We lose our capacity to think creatively, and to love our neighbor as self, 

I've stopped watching cable news almost completely over the past year. I don't know if this is the right thing to do for anyone else. But I came to believe that I was not more informed in doing so, only more frightened on a daily basis. I now receive my news via print journalism almost exclusively. 

When I was watching cable news I watched CNN primarily. I felt it was the best of three bad choices. The worst, without a doubt, is FOX, the official propaganda tool for the far-right. Truth is not a concern; only sticking to a false narrative and repeating it over and over again. Friends should not let friends watch FOX - it leads to brain decay. 

But since I've already insulted those who watch the most "popular" source of news, I'll add that I gave up on MSNBC years ago, because even though I thought they were more "accurate" they were not reporting news; they were (and I think mean to be) the counterbalance to FOX. So I settled "in the middle" with CNN. But every single day they had this "breaking news" that wasn't breaking news at all but it ratcheted up the angst. They, too, are in the fear-mongering business. 

I want to repeat that I don't know if I've made the right call and I'm not advocating that others make the same choice. I also am aware that giving up on cable news but doom scrolling on Facebook may not be the way forward. But what I have observed in my own body  is that I could feel "worked up" just by trying to be informed, and so I have made a conscious choice to be informed by various print resources. I don't even know if it's helped, but I think it has. I feel I can think more clearly; I can explore things on my own time and in more detail. I don't want to be simply "reactive" to propaganda; I want to find the truth. Amazingly, with all the information out there, this is not an easy thing to do. 

And yet, I admit to being still very afraid for our country. I look back at what I know of history and I think of what a great tool it is for those who want to hold onto power. AND, also, even more importantly, that it never works in the long run. It's the tool of tyrants but there eventually love wins, every tiime. 

So even if it doesn't come up 365 times, I think of Abraham and Sarah, asked to leave home and find a new place that God would show them in due time: do not be afraid; trust me.

I think of Moses, asked to confront Pharaoh and tell him to let God's people go. The fundamentalists of his day said he should stick to spirituality and not get into politics. But God called him at that burning bush to stand up, to get involved, to lead a liberating movement. And God said, "don't be afraid, I'll be with you." 

I think of Mary, visited by Gabriel and told that she would bear a son who would turn the world upside down. She was a teenager, and a girl in a patriarchal society. Of course she was afraid. And the angel said, "do not be afraid..."

We are afraid of different things but we will never move forward until we confront our fears and put our whole trust in God, because faith casts out fear. For me this means moving from "paying attention" to what's happening to action. We get there by way of finding courage, and hope, and an ability to seek the truth. Fear keeps us from all of these charisms. Fear leads to despair. Fear leads to death.

I have not preached since Christmas morning. But when I was preaching I realize that this was my guiding principle. I was not (and am not) afraid to speak up in a prophetic way. This blog could have been about Minneapolis and what I see happening there. I am so grateful for those who are finding their voices and also showing up there to stand together. What is happening is real, and scary. The lies being told by the administration add fuel to the fire. This needs to be said, with clarity. I give thanks for those who are doing so; they inspire me. 

But as I understand discernment, fear blocks it. Fear makes us reactive, not proactive. We need clarity, and hope, and courage, and love. I have come to believe that this was Dr. King's greatest legacy. It was also Ghandi's and many others as well, including Desmond Tutu. We will one day have to get to truth and reconciliation in this country. Those who are causing such turmoil will have to answer for their crimes against humanity, for sure. But beyond that we must find a way to reconciliation and healing. 

For me, the main thing - the first thing - is confronting our fears and then listening for the voice of God that often comes through God's messengers: do not be afraid. Do not be afraid. Do not be afraid. Regardless of how many times that appears in Scripture we need to hear it every day. 

Checking In: Finding a New Normal

Technically, my retirement from active ministry began on January 1. But I had a little vacation time coming at St. Michael's and so my last service (and last post to this blog) was on Christmas Day. For three weeks now, I've been finding my way into a new chapter of life. 

People kept asking me what I'd do in retirement and I kept trying to find the right, short, elevator speech. I said I was at a stage in life where being is more important to me than doing. I said that my vocation has always been bigger than priestly ministry: I'm a husband and father and father-in-law and grandfather and son and brother and neighbor. Having more time for these several callings definitely lured me toward this new chapter. I said that I wanted to cook more like an old European lady, by which I meant that I've never liked grocery shopping for a week or more, but rather going to see what looks good and shopping that afternoon as part of the meal prep itself. 

I didn't really say, but had in mind two other things as well...

First, commuting is hard on one's physical health. As Canon to the Ordinary from 2013-2024 my commute to Springfield was just about an hour but I also drove all across and up and down the diocese regularly. As interim rector in Bristol my commute was about an hour and ten minutes or so, depending on traffic in Providence. During the pandemic and again for these past three weeks without a commute, my days begin by walking. I've been averaging just about six miles a day since Christmas. I've also added in weight training on a more focused basis, since I keep reading and hearing about how as people age they lose muscle. It's cold and icy right now in New England so I'm doing all of this at the Greendale YMCA where I've been a member since we moved to Holden in 1998. But never have I had a consistent run like I've had these past three weeks. I had to get to work! I am usually there for about two and a half hours and since I'm an early riser, still home by 9 am or so. 

The second thing I wanted to do was more writing and reading on my own, not related to sermon preparation. I've been finding time most days to do both but I'm also still figuring out how to continue on the path of life-long learning without the discipline of preparing a sermon every week as my focus. Freedom is good, but one still needs a purpose. So I'm working on that. 

I've been busy, but not frenetic which is what I was looking for. I've been happy, which to some extent I've been for a long time; my life is very blessed. But I'm finding myself more fully present to the sacramentality of the present moment; to this Now. I'm anxious about the state of the world, to be sure. But not about my own life, at least not right now. 

And so I'm grateful. I have found in pastoral ministry that even thinking about retirement brings up all kinds of emotions for folks, lay and ordained. If you love your work, as I have, in some ways that seems harder. People who hold down a miserable job to put bread on the table feel freedom when they finally can lay that burden aside. But for many people I know, they find meaning in their work. They see it as vocational. I certainly have. But here has been the big surprise: those opportunities don't need to be tied to a full-time job. In the two weeks of January, I've been an interfaith panelist at UMass Medical School with fourth year Med students. Alongside Jewish and Muslim colleagues we have a chance to talk about big questions of meaning, of life and death, of ethics and the dialogue between faith and medicine. I've done this for almost a decade now but it felt different this year, and I felt grateful to still be doing it and I hope to continue doing it. 

I got a call from a funeral home to ask if I'd do a graveside service for a lapsed Episcopalian who had grown up in the Church but no longer had a congregation. Graveside services can be perfunctory but for whatever reason I found this one to be meaningful and I think the family did also. I also got a call from a contractor who did work on our home some time ago: his wife was nearing the end of her life and he asked if I'd be willing to visit her. I did - multiple times as she navigated from hospital to hospice and then took her last breath. I'll be officiating at her funeral this Friday. 

Honestly, as much as I love to preach, I find itinerant preaching a bit of a challenge. I'll do some of it, I'm sure - there's a need. But I'd much rather do a funeral, actually. Or a wedding. Or a baptism. 

The late Bishop of Newark, Jack Spong, coined a powerful phrase to refer to people who had grown up in the faith but then "moved on." He called it the Church Alumni Association. Members of the CAA aren't necessarily angry at the Church - they just got out of practice. They "graduated." But they do have faith, and sometimes faith seeking understanding. 

I remembered this anew in my "Tuesdays with Morrie" visits recently and I remembered it at UMass Medical School, where nearly every student in the room said they grew up with some kind of faith (not just Methodist and Lutheran and Roman Catholic but Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim...) but that it was not currently a part of their adult lives. 

I have long believed there is a deep spiritual hunger out there that churches are not meeting. I realize my last 37 years have been focused on "building up the church" and I'm wondering if this next chapter is more about connecting with people who are seeking, and have some faith foundation, but need to find ways to connect the faith they once had to the lives they are now living. Christian nationalism makes this harder, but also more and more necessary, I think. I'll keep you posted!