Love and Marriage

In March, I celebrated my forty-seventh birthday. Today, Hathy and I celebrate twenty-four years of marriage. One need not be a math scholar to notice that we have spent more of our lives married than single, which I have been finding a rather interesting thought to ponder today.

In my work as a pastor I have an opportunity to officiate at a number of weddings each year. When I was younger I complained a lot about this work, mostly tongue-in-cheek. At funerals and baptisms it is clear what the priest is supposed to do. But there are usually a lot of chiefs at weddings and competing interests and too often the religious dimensions aren't necessarily everyone's top priority. But over the years I've found this aspect of my work to be more and more of a joy.

Even so, most couples (including the young couple above) have no idea what it is they are getting into when they say "I do." What I've discovered over twenty-four years is that it takes some luck and a lot of grace and forgiveness to make it work. Overall, we've had it relatively easy. We've been blessed with a lot more better days than worse ones, while we may not be rich we are certainly not poor, and we've been pretty healthy all things considered. Good times make it easier to love and cherish our beloveds, perhaps, than hard times.

There is a line in the prayers offered at weddings that I truly love and everytime I hear it prayed at a wedding I love it more: Give them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their common life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy. (BCP 429)

I am very grateful that for more than half of my life - through times of need, perplexity, sorrow and joy - I've had my best friend by my side. Here's to the next twenty-four!