Before I go any further I want to say that if I’ve learned anything at all in my sixty-one years it is that we are not all in the same place today. And whichever candidate we voted for, we are not even in just two camps today. If, though, you were happy about the presidential election, that is your right, and I love you. Perhaps my words will help to bring some understanding and empathy for your neighbors who are in pain right now, and that may (by God’s grace) help you to love your neighbor a little better. But many of us here this morning have experienced dismay and confusion and disorientation since waking up on Wednesday morning. This sermon is primarily for those who are feeling incredible sorrow for our nation right now.
And let me add that this grief is not about one candidate losing and another winning. It’s more about trying to figure out who we are as a nation – what we stand for. And then, what does it mean to be the Church in a time like this?
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The process, as most of us know from experience, is not linear. And it takes time. Trauma is not unlike grief but it’s far more likely that we can get stuck especially if/when we feel re-traumatized. And I know that there is trauma here too. Among others, LGBTQ friends are feeling especially vulnerable right now with all the rhetoric that is quite frankly frightening. In any case I will confess that I’ve been experiencing all those emotions that Kubler-Ross mentions this week except acceptance. I’m just not there yet. But I have been feeling well acquainted with grief and the accompanying emotional roller coaster of denial, anger, bargaining and depression.
As your pastor, at least for a season, I invite you to be gentle with yourself and with your neighbor. Breathe in and breathe out. Keep doing that. Just breathe – in and out. Find your coping mechanisms. For me cooking is one of those and comfort food especially. On Wednesday (a night I usually stay in Bristol) I drove home to make lasagna and a Caesar salad so that Hathy and I could eat together. It helped. A little. A nice bottle of red wine helped as well.
Facebook is at best a very mixed blessing, I know. But I discovered and then shared these words there earlier this week from a woman named Venice Williams, about whom I know very little. As far as I can tell she’s not famous or anything. Yet her words helped to orient me in the midst of so much disorientation. I share them with you today in the hope that you may find them helpful as well.
You are awakening to the
same country you fell asleep to.
The very same country.
Pull yourself together.
And, when you see me,
do not ask me
"What do we do now?
How do we get through the next four years?"
Some of my Ancestors dealt with
at least 400 years of this
under worse conditions.
Continue to do the good work.
Continue to build bridges not walls.
Continue to lead with compassion.
Continue the demanding work of liberation for all.
Continue to dismantle broken systems, large and small.
Continue to set the best example for the children.
Continue to be a vessel of nourishing joy.
Right where you live into your days.
Do so in the name of
The Creator who expects
nothing less from each of us.
And if you are not "continuing"
ALL of the above, in community, partnership, collaboration?
What is it you have been doing?
What is it you are waiting for?
You may not yet appreciate these words, and that’s ok too. But I offer them as a beacon, perhaps for next week or next month or next year. We don’t always allow time in our culture to grieve. And we need to allow for that space. Grief is disorienting and the Bible has lots of ways to express disorientation, especially in the psalms. My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me? A few weeks ago we spoke here about Job, who could not find God when he looked to his left and right and ahead and behind.
But at some point we will need to get re-oriented – we cannot stay in a fetal position forever. The words I shared are there for me and I hope for you to help us to get our bearings and at least know where we might be headed. Yes, there will be many challenges. And yes, it may be worse even than our worst nightmares. Still we are called to be the Church. Still, we are called to continue in the work God has given us to do. That matters. And still we are at a season in the life of this congregation when we are seeking clarity around mission and purpose as we look to identify the next rector of this great parish. Don’t lose heart.
I want to invite you to come, today, any who so desire, to be anointed with oil that was previously blessed by our bishop. Healing is not magic. The oil won’t make it all better instantly. But it might remind you of the claim God has on you. We will skip over the creed today and the prayers of the people and confession. It’s ok – this is not a stealth move to remove them from the liturgy. Only today. I invite you to pray silently, for yourself and others.
I’ll be up here with oil. Come if you so desire. If you remember back to last Sunday when we celebrated Holy Baptism on All Saints Sunday, we anointed that child, Colton, after the water, to remind him and his parents and godparents and ourselves that nothing can separate him from the love of God in Jesus. Nothing. That he has been sealed and marked and claimed, forever. No matter what.
And that’s true for every person here today. Whether you come forward or not for anointing, I invite you to spend this time in prayer for yourself, for those dear to you, for your neighbors including those who drive you crazy. Pray for family who will gather on Thanksgiving, knowing that this year might be a tense one. Pray for healing in this nation. Pray for this parish, that we will continue to grow together and toward a greater awareness of what we are called to be about in this time and place.
And if you would like, come forward to be anointed with this holy oil – an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace that reminds us all, through it all, that we are beloved.
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